I took Sunday ‘off’ today , couldn’t make it to church
Decided to fast & hang out with My God
It was pretty tough, hard to focus,..
I usually get a nice time with the Lord, but not this time
Didn’t go as planned…was even thinking to stop the fast , and do sth else of today ….
Didn’t want to ‘waste’ that day of fast …
But finally kept at it…..
Spent most of the time unfocused, a bit rebellious,half praying, half murmuring,half whatever else…
hardly reading the Word, pondering over my own thoughts and understanding instead…
Thinking over and over about these great promises that God has made to me and after so many years……still Nothing
Dragged myself to read upon of book ‘The enduement of Power” by Oswald Smith…
was a bit bored reading it , a bit discouraged, if anything this season is -according to how I feel anyway —–pretty powerless!- I had tried all the tricks to get that ‘power’ going in my life, but nothing, and was now too tired to try any other new or old trick….
Anyway ,as I force myself to read on , hoping to get a word from God anyhow…I came upon a passage that says ” There is a great misunderstanding these days about “feeling” and “faith”.It is so hard to get people to simply believe that God does fill them with His Spirit.They wait for feeling.Some special manifestation or emotional experience……..
I read on. and that passage + others thoughts, revived me and I knew that God has spoken to me right there….
There was nothing new, no new revelation, but simply a reminder ……..
Those things that I was being discouraged about …..
That special promise HE made to me ,a few years ago,…
And this other one , made almost 20 years…….
God was asking me Not to be Emotional abt it and to wait more ,which is what He’s been saying for years anyway…but strangely ,instead of feeling discouraged , I felt encouraged…
Yes, I am feeling dry, dry and dry but it doesnt matter How I feel , what matter is what GOD has spoken ….
It is written…….
I went back to where I wrote those promises, reread them ,and smiled… at last
Suddenly,I felt revived,off the ‘down’ wagon’..
That’s the Power of the Voice of God…..
when He speaks , we Live…
I am now ready for another week……
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.