1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters
4. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
5. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
6. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
7. Tears: The hydraulic force due to which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power…
8. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
9. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.
10. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
11. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
12. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
13. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
14. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit down to decide that nothing can be done together.
15. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
16. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
17. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
18. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
19. Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
20. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
21. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
22. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
23. Father: A banker provided by nature.
24. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
25. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
26. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?
27. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills